They say your yoga mat and practice is a reflection of your life. Today during my yoga class I found myself getting angry and annoyed at my inflexibility. As my yoga teacher assisted and guided me trying to help me to release “She commented this hip just doesn’t want to surrender”. Throughout my class I felt myself frustrated. Frustrated that I felt my body was failing me, my hamstrings are like bloody metal rods there so tight, my back is regularly seizing and going out of alignment then it clicked. Not my back, but the realisation that my body is not failing me I am failing my body.
The reflection of my own life on my yoga mat is not lost on me. As a seeker of answers, a meditation and mindfulness coach I regularly sit in silence and tune in. I assist others in recognising the metaphysical reasons for ill health. I coach people in making decisions, realising their goals and dreams, setting boundaries. Yet for the past few weeks I was resisting making a decision myself. Hoping that I would be given a sign or someone would tell me what to do. Maybe my body was already doing that, in its resistance to bend and flex and just be. It felt stuck.
As I drove to class my mind whirring with a business decision I need to make. I try coaching myself through self talk. “It’s only a decision, the amount of time you’ve spent over analysing it you could have made the decision, be moving forward and now following your dreams more fully”. My body told me the same just do something about it, be proactive, relax, surrender and go with what your body and heart is telling you. But for some reason I need the reassurance. I need someone to guide me, to support my choice.
The choices we make are only that choices. Feeling bound by decisions is often a response to fear. And in this case its true. My fear of disappointing others, doing the right thing financially, head over heart stuff. And in the process of not speaking up and being true I get dragged down into a path that is leading me further from my truth.
My desire to publish my book, my desire to do speaking engagements empowering and supporting others. I need to make space for this and in writing this blog I have answered my own question.
I have pushed through so much fear and choices to get to where I am today, yet life always gives us something else. It’s like “Well done, great choice. Now what next?” Life asks me “Where are we going now, are you staying true? Does your heart feel light, are you anxious or worried? If so why?” We always have the answers inside ourselves its having the confidence to trust our intuition and trust our gut.
So what decision is on your mind? Roll out that mat, down dog and listen. For the answer you are looking for is always within.
Love and Live Your Light Susi xxx